Will is everything

I just realized today that dealing with chronic pain is easier than dealing with love.

Both are irrational, however my brain can deal with chronic pain, but not with love.

It might be because it has more experience with the first than the later. Avoiding to fall in love leaves you helpless when you do decide to fall. It’s like keeping away from all sort of germs, your immune system will fail when dealing with the least harmless germ because it has no training.

All these thoughts rushed to me when I was at my gym (online,ofc) class and I felt a poignant pain in my back. I stopped, focused on my abdomen to harden the muscles and though “there is no point in hurting, there’s nothing wrong there”. Puf! Pain went away.

My brain has been telling itself for the last month that things are over with the dove, nothing there, no matter what. Not turning around, not caring… Not successful thought. The brain does not understand.

No problem, it will in time.

Oh, yeah… The title of this post refers to the fact that I can now dance with the drum! And this is what the older band members said when I started to move and play right: will is everything! 💪

I’m still far from being able to play with them in a concert but I’m getting there.