It’s November all over again…

Which is good. It is rare you get the chance to do something twice. Maybe this time I’ll do it right. 😆

I mean I only get to do this twice because I failed the first time.

The good news is I do not seem to have damaged anything much. Well, not inside me. Not sure about the other side. Partly not wishing to find out either. Unless there is no damage there. That would be good to know. It would hurt a wee bit, but it would be best. Otherwise it might hurt more.

I’m listening to the same music as in November. Partly this is why it feels like it. And I feel the music very much too. It will probably always remind me of this period.

On the other hand the situation is very similar to last November… Or to last October. Except I was in Florence and now I’m home. Tiny difference. But I am preparing my trip to Lyon for this November, so there’s a lot of November going on in my head.

The other tiny difference from last November is that I pushed back. Now, being more detached, I feel that was unnecessary, but I know I had to or I wouldn’t be detached. And it took way too much space in my mind…

…And now I have so much empty space. If you have too much on your mind, I’m renting space. J/k

I will soon find with what to fill it. Quite excited to see what I’ll come up with.

People that know me, know that if I am pushed, I push back. Sometimes, I do not do that, if I really care for someone and this is why I avoid falling in love. If I love someone, I quite often let things go, let things be, not impose my view (is that even possible?! 😯😆), just accept what the other one wants, gives, even if it’s not what I want/need. This attitude damages me up to the point that when I do push back, I push so hard there won’t be anything there. I do need proactivity in a relationship. I also need to say when I want different, but if I have to push you to react all the time, I get tired fast.

This time it wasn’t that fast though. On the other hand, I never fell in love before with a muse. Or to be more correct, I never met any of my muses in real life before. I was vaguely inspired by my first love, but I wouldn’t call her a muse…

Anyway, I just got reminded and, I do not know why I forgot since last November, that my life phylosphy Is very well defined by this lyric: Dis-moi à quoi ça sert, d’avoir mal et puis se taire?

Chiar că… la ce e bun?!


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