Something has changed…

…for one, I do not feel like writing anymore

I feel like drawing instead… But not today…

Not unexpectedly, I do not feel like socializing much.

However, I am really happy to be able to see my friends in person again. Just not all in one weekend.

Yesterday got me thinking of a Romanian novel that needed with a phrase like “Time didn’t have patience anymore”.

It felt that way. Really there is no need to make up for “lost time”.

I feel like I gained more than lost the past two months.

It’s just that this week was not a particularly good one emotionally speaking. I do not like feeling trapped, I guess. Feeling that way is not unusual either around this time even with the “relaxation measures”.

This week I had part of my happy bubble incomeplete. Though, celebrating mum’s name day and seeing a theatre play with two actors I adore should have been a nice change.

I haven’t drank alcohol since dad’s birthday in March. And it hit me just how true it is that alcohol is a depressant despite the momentary feel of joy.

Seeing a play online is not satisfactory, even if it is live. It’s missing something. That’s why I travel to go to concerts of singers I like instead of just watching the DVD when it comes out. I need that vibe, the energy of the people around, the feeling of sharing something with people you don’t know and will never see again, the connection, being united by something despite all other differences.

And on top of everything, it was a rainy week.

Otherwise, this week was great. Some good news and events, I wish I was able to enjoy more, but I guess I blew an enthusiasm fuse with the new idea I got…

I will start drawing again.

I say that to myself and wrote it down, ojalá that I will actually do it.

Bought a new drawing notebook yesterday in that regard.

No rush though.

Time may not have patience anymore, but I still do… Not much, just some left overs on the bottom of the jar, but I’m working on getting more… Just that the shipment got stuck in traffic…

The feelings for my dove changed as well though I cannot really express that in words…