The difference between being and feeling has been on my mind ever since I started my documentation on feelings.
It is clear to everyone that one can be sick without feeling sick and vice versa. Although, according to Freud the later are sick too. However, this is not the topic at hand. ๐
What about being sad versus feeling sad? Can one be sad without feeling sad or vice versa?
I would suggest not.
One can be good without feeling good though. Or be comforting without feeling comfortable. ๐
I kinda like how language helps a little bit, at least in English.
Recently, I was given an article about “why the French do not get excited about things” and it argued there that it’s because of language. They do not have a word for excited in French as excitรฉ means aroused. Well, I liked the perspective, but let’s not forget that the French love a great deal of stuff we only like.
I keep getting asked if I like my new job (probably because I complained a lot about disliking the last one, except all I meant was that it was inconvenient as schedule and I could do better). I cannot seem to get people to understand that I do not have a positive or negative feeling towards work. I do not like it, but I do not dislike it either (yet, unfortunately I have to interact with idiots as everywhere, but I’m just gonna look at it as an exercise into not wasting feelings unecessarily).
Anyway, while thinking about this, I realized why my French friends might find me a negative person. It is because in French there isn’t or I don’t know the equivalent for “dislike”. Je n’aime pas is dislike for them but not for me. If I say je n’aime pas it doesn’t mean I dislike it. It just means I do not like it, as in I do not have any positive feelings for that. This can very well mean it is indiferent to me. Indiference doesn’t mean anything other than that I was never in a context in which I would have to associate that with a positive or negative feeling or the current context isn’t such. I could say “รงa m’est indiferent” but I have a feeling it wouldn’t be perceived any better.
I do strive for indifference in feelings (being zen… Is that the same thing as feeling zen ?๐) which is a great deal different than indifference when it comes to social or ideological matters. However, I would like to guard myself from liking an idea. People die for this and I … Well, don’t care to rush death. I am careless enough as it is. I do not need to add voluntary and assumed actions to the risk. Well… I do not need to, yeah. Do I want to though?
Actually, what I wanted to write about today was something I read this morning in “The brain’s way of healing” by Norman Doidge. The last chapters are about sound therapy and how that helps the brain to heal itself. Part of sound therapy are Gregorian chants. I did hear this in an earlier chapter, but only this morning I realized why it had such an impact on me when I was in Florence and how I should congratulate myself for taking the time to go to listen to the monks sing as often as I did, while I was there. I do make myself the best gifts. Apparently, the Gregorian music not only calms (which is why I went there) but it also fills the body with energy. Pretty cool, especially since it doesn’t cause insomnia as a side effect. ๐
I cannot imagine myself without music. I do need to work on that. I can give up alcohol and coffee with no stress if need be. Sugar might be a bit harder, but doable. Music, though ๐ฌ
After all, I am sure this year of only what I will do on the 29th of July ๐๏ธ and 20th of November ๐ (although this last date might have been chosen poorly and too soon too. I am curious of what reasoning my brain will bring to it ๐).