Two years ago, I had a crazy idea for a performance that hasn’t happened yet, but now it is closer than ever because I will make it happen somehow.
This idea made me look out for piercing artists who were doing needle play. I met Ana last year and felt an instant connection with her.
Ana and Dragos also do body suspension. Looking at their posts, I thought that this would be the ultimate experience for me. It felt fascinating and terrifying at the same time to watch. So, I decided to give myself this experienece as a gift for my birthday.
I’ve already seen Ana be suspended in a performance in Timisoara and spoke to her about her first experience of this kind. She said I should take as much time as I needed before being lifted up from the ground, but I knew that isn’t going to be long or it will not happen at all. I did get up quite fast.
I asked for the suspension to be done in nature, under a tree. They found a really nice spot. A tree that seems to have been hit by a thunder, but which is still alive and triving. I find it very fitting since I think those who seak this experience might have gone through something that is similar to a thunder strike in their lifes.
The universe conspired so that my best friend was there with me. I initially asked another friend to come take photos, but something unplanned came up for her, so my best friend surprisingly stepped in and offered to help although she wasn’t really at ease with the experience, but since it was something that meant a lot to me she set her judgments aside. I must say, that one of the best moments of this day was to see her smiling ear to ear because she was happy for me enjoying myself so much.
The experience acctually happened the day before my birthday because of stuffs, which I find funny since quite often I think my birthday is on the day before it acctually is. Also, I think the weather was perfect because of the wind.
After we got there, Ana and Dragos set up everything and they walked me through the following steps. I was a bit nervous when I got there since I never did this before, but I knew I was in a supported space, so no matter what happened, I could count on getting the necessary help.
Having already the needle play experience, the piercings on my back weren’t unfamiliar. I also deal with pain quite well. Guess that’s why I’m doing this.
They gave me all the time I needed between each step of the process, which wasn’t much, since I’m a doer. Also, because if I give my brain time to make up scenarios and ideas, it might set in doubt what I want to do and I have no energy to argue with myself haha.
So, I went under the tree and they started to pull me up until I was on my toes. There I would stay for as long I needed to get used to how my back felt and decided I was ready to hang higher. Ana guided me how to move to check how I’m feeling. Having a person for support is still unfamiliar to me.
At first I found it problematic that the ground wasn’t straight and one foot was lower than the other. Soon, I realized that was better as I could go round to the lower side and float a little. I did this twice, and Dragos pulled me slightly upper. There was a slight discomfort and huge unfamiliarity and then boom! I was floating. So awesome!
My first and last thoughts were, I guess this is how angels feel and I wouldn’t mind growing wings.
My sole request was that I would have a video of me lifting from the ground, and I doooo 🥰 Thank you, bestieeee! ❤️
I bounced around for some time to just enjoy and get used to being up there. Then, I wanted to do a 7 min meditation, so I stopped, folded my legs under me in lotus pose, which was wierd since there was no ground under. I closed my eyes and listened for 7 minutes. Being suspended with the eyes closed and the wind spining me around was quite surreal. I had no thoughts, but I felt very present in my body. Holding my legs parallel to the ground was a challange, but once over it, I felt only joy.
It felt really pleasant to be there. And quiet. Very quite. No thoughts is a very rare state for me. The relaxation that comes with this, is so complete and it lasted for quite some time …until I had to drive home. I am grateful to my best friend for driving me to and from the location to her place and spending the evening with me, so I can just be for some time longer.
After the meditation, I just played around, having Ana push me or spin me which I enjoyed a lot. I experimented what I could do up there. It felt like I could float forever, but I didn’t because I thought it was the first time and I shouldn’t push my body too much. There will be other ocassions.
I feel like there should be more words to describe this, but there aren’t truly any words to do justice to how it felt for me.
When I came down, being on the ground felt for a while more unfamiliar than being up there.
The final steps are unglamorous haha. Taking out the piercings is not painful at all due to the adrenaline. After some time muscle pain kicks in like you’ve done a lot of effort, because you have haha. For me it lasted that evening; the next morning I felt it only slightly and it was gone by the next evening.
After I got home, I spent some time alone in silance to let the feelings settle. It is the first time I cried out of joy after an experience like* this, or of gratitude to be more precise. I was grateful and still am grateful for everyone in my life. I was thinking two weeks ago when I was on vacation with a friend that I would like to extend the love I feel for my friends to everyone in this world, and this day I felt one step closer to achieving it.
*by “like this”, I mean something extreme. Usually, pushing** myself over a limit comes with a release of tension and trauma and that feels painful at an emotional level as the emotions are finally lived and ackgnowleged. Afterwards, there’s a moment of calmness and clarity. This time, it was fast forward to the calmness.
**pushing myself consciously, kindly and purpousefully, when I feel ready and supported
Suspension by modern_primitive_23_suspension
Photos by elena.andreea.sebe
The joy of creating 